Funniest Eph written post of the last few days is here, courtesy of Mike Needham ’04.

The Minnesota Timberwolves were staying in the same hotel as I was in Dallas. Indeed, I went up in the elevator with my mother, Ervin Johnson, Mark Madsen, Fred Hoiberg and… LATRELL SPREWELL! A transcript of our conversation follows.

Me: Yo, Spree, we miss you in New York.

Sprewell (inside-head voice): Shut the f— up, kid.

Sprewell (outside-head voice): Cool, man. Thanks

Hoiberg: So, are you all here for the wedding [there was a wedding going on in the hotel]

Mom: No, are you all here for the bar mitzvah?

Me (inside-head voice): Apparently it’s not enough for my mother to embarrass me in front of all my friends.

Hoiberg: No, but we’d go if we were invited.

[Elevator opens on 3. Ervin Johnson gets out]

Madsen: So you all know that was Ervin Johnson?

Mom: Magic Johnson? No it wasn’t. Y’all are just kidding me.

[My mom proceeds to punch a visibly-unamused Latrell Sprewell in the arm]

Me (inside-head voice): We are all about to get strangled.

[Elevator opens on 4. We all get out and go our separate ways]

So, yes: My mom punched Latrell Sprewell.

Needham seems to believe that his Mom’s actions are unintentional. This is a common misperception among children. In fact, all we parents spend lots of time thinking up new and interesting ways of embarrassing our children. (My daughters can confirm this.) We share tips, publish news letters and stage conventions.

But I can’t let Mike in on the details until he has children of his own.


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