Jacob Eisler ’04 quotes President Bush telling an off-the-cuff Christmas story to first graders:

Listen, I know how — I know Scruffy McMuffles’ heart. I know how much he cares for the Candy Cane Elves. He and his wife go out to the Candy Cane Forest all the time to provide comfort and solace. I have seen the anguish in his — or heard the anguish in his voice and seen his eyes when we talk about the danger in The Marshmallow Valley, and the fact that youngsters are over there in harm’s way. And he is — he’s a good, decent man. He’s a caring fellow. Sometimes perhaps [h]is demeanor is rough and gruff, but beneath that rough and gruff, no-nonsense demeanor is a good human being who cares deeply about the Candy Cane Elves . . .

Go to WSO for the punchline.

Eisler may be interested to know that McMuffles is quite popular among the Candy Cane Elves. Make of that what you will.

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