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My Dad

Evan Miller ’06 points out that My Dad is perhaps the funniest entry in the new WSO Wiki.

My dad was in the navy. He still has a sword from it. Does your dad sail a yacht? How would he feel about a huge-ass destroyer with loads of missiles? I would guess that he would feel terrible.

Oh yeah? Well my dad played pro basketball in Greece and was on the team that won the European Championship. He’s 6 feet, 8 inches tall and can still dunk with with ease. Does your dad have mad hops? How would he feel about a little 1 on 1? I would guess that he would feel terrible.

So? My dad was an army artillery officer. He also has a black belt (3rd dan) in tae kwon do. Does your dad want my dad to kick his ass? How would he feel about sparring? I would guess that he would feel terrible.

Oh, really? Yeah, well, my dad used to fly a stunt helicopter in movies. Did your dad see that movie, “Apocalypse Down?” Is it true that your dad can’t make his riding lawnmower work? How would your dad feel about my dad showing him how to mow the lawn – with a helicopter? I would guess that he would feel terrible.

Hmmm. How about?

Shut up! My dad makes a point of terrorizing all the little nine year old boys in my fourth grade class so that, when I am 16 and they want to take me out on a date, he will still be Big Scary Mister Kane and they will be too frightened to do anything but treat me like the princess that I am. Does your Dad have that sort of foresight? I would guess that he would feel terrible.

Unfortunately, I don’t think my lovely daughter Michaela has a WSO login.

Anyway, don’t click the link unless you have serious time to waste. Not sure if “Apocalypse Down” is just a mistake or some sort of hip conflation of “Apocalypse Now” and “Black Hawk Down.” Better would be a “Red Dawn” Dad.

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#1 Comment By Diana On November 2, 2005 @ 10:03 am

You don’t need a WSO login to edit the Wiki.

#2 Comment By anon On November 2, 2005 @ 7:43 pm

Whoops, I mean “Apocalypse Now.” Teaches me to edit the wiki while sleep-deprived.