It was with sudden sadness and shock that I came across the news of Aidan’s passing:

Aidan Martin Crane, October 18, 1991 – March 19, 2006.

Words escape me, as does the futility of words.

In the middle of our Monday morning staff meeting, I had been looking for Rachel Barenblat’s exact words,

“I know how difficult that is for me as an outsider to each situation; I can only marvel at how difficult it must be for you as a parent.”

and I quickly came, again, to Sam’s words,

“Never have I felt a pain so deep, a hurt so overwhelming. That is how it should be, I suppose, when a child dies. But that is not the only thing in my mind…”

In this moment, I am amazed at the pain in my own head, the sudden disorientation and cognitive dissonance, the rush of my mind to many other things, events, happinesses, and profound losses.

What must it be like for Sam?

I can only return to litany, to reciting the Kaddish, and the hope, that all our thoughts and prayers now be with Sam, with Maureen, and with their family.

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