Perhaps we need a new motto instead of “All Things Eph.” Maybe: “EphBlog: Your best source for news on Williams shit.”

For those who want further updates on the Poo Fighters, start here with a Record news story and editorial, and note the latest all-campus e-mail. Comments:

1) No compliments on my clever Poo Fighters pun? This is a tough crowd.

2) Everyone should calm down. There have been 24 incidents, only 6 of them involving poo. Perhaps my glasses are vomit-colored, but there were problems with people mis-worshiping at the porcelain throne back in the day. How many “bio-cleanup” incidents were there last year? How long has the College even tracked this statistic? How accurately is it being tracked now? I would not be surprised if, 5 years ago, facilities did not even tally how many times such a clean-up was necessary. Without more details on the data, and on the data-gathering process, it is tough to have an informed opinion.

3) Yet I am all about solutions! We can all agree that the 6 poo-smearing incidents are troubling. Fortunately, there is a lot more that the College could do to identify the culprits.

First, tell us the facts. (It would be nice to see the Record do a little more investigative reporting as well.)

The behavior is reprehensible: valued members of the College community, our custodians, have had to do twenty-four bio-cleanups since September 5, eight involving urine, six involving excrement, eight involving vomit, one involving both vomit and urine, and one involving used condoms. The incidents have occurred in eight upperclass residence halls (in all four neighborhoods), two first-year residence halls, Rice House, Paresky, and the Log.

This is not a bad summary, but the more details provided the more likely we are to catch the culprit(s). Where were the 6 poo incidents? When were they reported, data and time? When were they estimated to have occurred?

Second, the College knows exactly which ID cards were used in these houses around these times. Release that information, either publicly or to a committee charged with investigating the problem. Say what you will about Rice House but, at most times, there are not a lot of people going in and out. Moreover, anyone who does not swipe their card needs to have the door held by someone. Interview anyone who went in the building around the time of the incident.

Will this catch the poo-leaver? Not necessarily. But it can’t hurt. It will also demonstrate that the community is taking the problem seriously, is doing something about it.

Third, I still like my plan. Since no one has proposed a better one, why not give it a try? Note that some readers have misunderstood how such a site might work. Not everything submitted would be allowed to stay. There would be a committee of students that would remove inappropriate pictures/comments. If students can pick JAs, they can handle this.

4) There was a College Council meeting last night on the topic. Alas, the CC meetings do not seem to be posted on-line this year (rant on that topic here), but CC Secretary Remington Shepard (who has a nice column about the issue) has kindly offered to send me a copy. I will post them when he does.

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