The Record provides a serviceable update on Poo Fighters. Some excerpts and comments below. (By the way, the two other nominations for naming this scandal are The Mad Crapper and The Phantom Shitter. Cast your vote in the comments!)

Students left three more messes that required bio-cleanups this weekend, bringing the total number of bio-cleanups to 27 this year.

Historical perspective, please! Three vomit clean-ups would seem a reasonable (meaning not-unusual and hardly worthy of comment) number for a fall week-end. Why can’t the Record tell us how many clean-ups there were last year on an average week-end in October?

Morgan House was one of the first to feel the pinch of the new policy, after vomit was left in the second floor bathroom around 3 a.m. on Sunday. Baxter Fellow Tim Ryan ’09 e-mailed the Morgan listserv requesting that the responsible person step forward. When no one confessed, he notified the College authorities, and by 9 p.m. custodial staff cleaned up the mess.

In an e-mail to Morgan residents on Monday, Doug Schiazza, director of Campus Life, explained that the students in the middle of the second floor would cover the cost of the cleanup. The house is now on residents-only restricted card access for two weeks (Oct. 23 to Nov. 6) and cannot host registered parties until Nov. 22, he said.

I don’t like the “residents-only” restriction as a form of punishment because it isn’t really a punishment. You aren’t inconveniencing Morgan residents — they can come and go as they please. The restriction inconveniences everyone except Morgan residents. Non-residents need to arrange for someone to let them in the building. (Admittedly, this is a bother for residents too.) Indeed, the ideal card access scheme for me in a time when Mad Crappers are wandering the campus is that I have access to every building while all other Ephs don’t have access to mine. So, residents-only access is a benefit, not a punishment.

It also heads us down the road to universal resident access only, turning Williams into Columbia in the Berkshires. Certain people in the Administration would probably like that, would probably enjoy having more control over and knowledge of student movement, but that isn’t where Williams should go.

Back in the day, every building was open to everyone. No cards required.

Other incidents requiring bio-cleanups this weekend were in East, for excrement, and in the Rice House apartment breezeway, for urine.

As always, the most exasperating aspect here is the poo. More details, please! When did this occur in East? Who noticed it? Who do residents suspect did the deed? Who do they rule out? Investigative reporting requires, you know, doing some investigating.

Also, isn’t this the second (at least) incident involving Rice House?

Ryan also expressed concern regarding the health risk to students who do not know how to access bio-cleanup kits or take proper precautions

Give me a break. This is about as plausible as worrying about the health risks of meteor strikes.

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