For posters too busy to write out responses to some of the more annoying rhetorical techniques commonly employed on this blog, I present these handy shortcut keys.  Updated with several additions since a prior version of this post …

  • The instant classic, iterating to agreement.
  • Two options for the frequently-needed beating a dead horse.
  • The strawman, and his cousin, the red herring.
  • To keep David in check, this is handy when Ephblog threatens to transform into KaneBlog, and this, for when it devolves into a Page Six-style gossip rag.
  • Of course, we need a troll icon.
  • Another Ephblog favorite: moving the goalposts.
  • When we need to rant at another poster, who better than Pacino [warning: NSFW].
  • Uncomfortable learning, courtesy of Dick Swart.
  • The false dilemma.
  • David found this one: appropriate when someone gets out of line and needs to be bounced.
  • For responding to comments so incredibly dumb that a substantive rejoinder is pointless.
  • When we want to thank someone for pointing out the obvious.
  • The only acceptable response to excessive self-pity … unless Steve Buscemi happens to be in the room, as his version is way better.
  • For those with an obsessive need to correct false claims.
  • To register displeasure at impenetrable writing.
  • For response to commentators with a well-established, reflexive, irrational animus, consider the source.
  • And finally, reserved for those special moments when we just can’t take it anymore, I present this classic.
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