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134.79% Return!

Fun smackdown of Jim Cramer, P ’13.

Recently, my email has been full of all sorts of Cramer-Spam, with stories about all these great stock picks he made. Here’s a sample of bullet points from emails from “Jim Cramer (”:

* Model Portfolio Outperforms S&P 500: 134.79% Total Average Return*
* On January 20th, I bought Goldman Sachs at $60. When it hit $85 on January 28th, I trimmed my shares, locking in a 41% gain

Notice his example picks have an average return well above anyone’s hurdle rate, with returns of 30% to 134.79% (love than .79). It’s funny when people sell penis enlargement pills online for $50 because its silly and not a lot of money, but as John Stewart noted, the stock market isn’t a game. This is disgraceful and CNBC should be aware this makes them part of his scam. It simply isn’t plausible that 30%+ returns are representative, and they know that, and suredly would say they didn’t mean every return is this high, but it’s like lottery ads saying ‘anyone can win’—true enough, but highly misleading.



Card Check

Jim Cramer, P ’13, argues that card check is the most important issue facing US companies.

Best line: “Look for the union label and sell!”


Lusting After the Female Presenters

How do smart people think about the Cramer/Stewart show-down? Like this:

Just watched the Jim Cramer interview on The Daily Show. It made me sooo fucking mad. What a dick. How full of oneself can one person be? And such a preachy loudmouth, too.

I’m talking of course of Jon Stewart, self-appointed mob leader, First Pitchfork. Of whom nothing ill may normally be said. At least 70% of the “interview” was him talking, for chrissakes. The rest of it was sandbagging, showing shady internet video from 2006 off where Cramer fesses up to, among other things, spreading vaguely dodgy rumours about Apple, and ramming the futures down pre-opening. Big fucking deal, and that never took a dime from the Great American Public. The whole point of his banging on about it in the video, I can only imagine, was to warn viewers that this sort of thing goes on, rather than, as was clearly implied by His Preachiness, to inform his viewers and the SEC that he is a semi-criminal financial mastermind. Whatever; this was less an interview, in no way a “showdown,” more a pre-planned evisceration in front of a hostile, servile audience. That audience is so sycophantic, it makes Jon Stewart uncomfortable, and rightly so. As a spectacle, it was disturbing. One of those Spanish festivals where they torture a donkey came to mind, or where they drop a goat out of the church steeple.

Asking CNBC to become some sort of “good citizen” financial journalist, exposing evil banking shenanigans, as Jon Stewart fantasises, would be like asking Paris Hilton to teach an Open University course in quantum physics. It is not a realistic proposition. In any case, which muckraking financial institution does he have in mind as a paragon? The FT? WSJ? The Economist? Boooorring. Bloomberg TV is probably the model he has in mind, or something on PBS. There’s no money in that, neither explicity predicted, as far as I know, our current difficulties, and no-one watches.
For most of us doing the investing, CNBC (and, most of the time, Cramer, for that matter) is absolutely irrelevant in investing, a backround hum on the trading floor, good only for finding out what the consensus is thinking at any one time and lusting after the female presenters (I like Erin Burnett). No-one I know takes any of it seriously.

Jon Stewart is surfing on rage, and unloading on the public face of stockmarket investing. Like most members of the public he doesn’t quite understand what has happened, and is sure they have all been somehow “gotten”. And of course they have been, but are all complicit in it the same time. Even if they didn’t buy overpriced houses with too much debt, I bet a lot of Jon Stewart’s audience remortgaged and bought an LCD TV, new car and a great holiday, or at least invested their 401ks into stocks and mutual funds. Get the pitchforks out and let’s get the bankers, anyway, it’ll make some good TV. Well, frankly it didn’t.

Contrary view from another smart person here. Who’s right? I’ll go with the guy who likes Eph women!


Jim Cramer, P ’13, on the Daily Show – Must See TV

Jim Cramer, whose daughter who will be attending Williams next year, was on The Daily Show tonight, after some back-and-forth over the week. It all started when Rick Santelli of CNBC canceled on Stewart, causing the same night this clip was aired. Cramer should get massive kudos for having the guts and gumption to do what Santelli could not, and had to personally represent the failures of Wall Street.

Video here.

The Eph connection is admittedly weak, though Cramer’s children are mentioned as Daily Show fans in this clip. However, Williams was also known when I arrived in Fall ’07 as a feeder school for the Wall Street titans. I recall several days when it seemed every senior I knew was in coat & tie for a Morgan Stanley reception in Paresky basement or a Merrill Lynch interview at the OCC, and this interview is not just about Cramer or CNBC; it’s about the nature of Wall Street and the business that so many Ephs went into. I don’t pretend to understand the underlying economics (though I feel good about my ECON 120 midterm), but the interview is valuable for both Stewart’s relentless prosecution and Cramer’s attempts to explain the forces at work around him.

I don’t often make blanket statements, but if you’ve never seen anything else on the Daily Show, you watched a single online video, watch this interview. It was the first three segment interview I’ve seen on the Daily Show, and still went 8 minutes into overtime. Two other clips of Stewart’s best are here (post 9/11 speech) and here (speaking against partisanship as entertainment).

Media coverage here. (to the tune of 533 articles so far) Once available, you can find the interview at the show website, or According to James Fallows, a longtime journalist for the Atlantic, “Jon Stewart has become Edward R. Murrow.”


Jim Cramer learns to pronounce ‘Eph’

Congratulations to Mr. Cramer’s daughter, who was accepted ED to the Williams class of 2013. 

Hat-tip to reader “An EB Fan” (aren’t we all?)


Cramer Country

What Eph has been viewed the most times on YouTube? Tough to know! This and this are certainly contenders.

Among the most viewed videos this month is one featuring Erin Burnett ’98. This version, however, includes more from Burnett.


1) Whatever CNBC is paying Burnett, it isn’t enough to put up with the likes of Cramer.

2) I think most hedge fund professionals have seen this video. It is hilarious, although perhaps a bit confusing to the layEph. When I first saw it, I didn’t realize that the interviewer was Burnett. My mistake.

3) The Fed did decrease the discount rate last Friday, as Cramer suggested.


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